I must say, when my man of several years made a decision that he needed a break from our romantic relationship, just about all I could think of was "How do I get my ex boyfriend back now?"

I was as troubled as any woman could be in that condition, but when I really sat right down to ponder over it, I saw there were basically three different answers to that old question of "How to get my boyfriend back?" I've mentioned them all to you here.

Option #1: Go to him

If you've just broken up, this is likely the method your heart's asking you-no, screaming for you-to utilize. You want to drive down to his home with French maid's dress and a bottle of massage oil and say I am sorry, beg, and bat your eyelashes till he forgives you.

Unfortunately, next to basically running over his pooch, this is probably the very best approach to make sure the break up is final. It makes you look mentally unstable and like somebody who can't really deal with life by themselves.

Sometimes those tearful, lovelorn pleas work on we girls, but they usually have the opposite effect on males, who aren't as confident with open displays of emotion like we are. Therefore, even a little thing like sending a mushy love message is just not a good idea. That's why I decided this wasn't the answer to the question of how should I get my ex-boyfriend back.

Option #2: He should come to you!

No! I don't mean sitting by the phone all through the night praying for him to call. I mean going about your life as if you'd never met Mister what's-his-name, only stopping to let virtually any common friend of yours be aware that you're still single and theoretically willing to speak to your ex.

Should you honestly think your guy will soon come to realize what an error it was to let you go (eg he's done this previously), you're probably secure with this route. Otherwise, though, it's pretty risky.

You're relying on the fact that he's still thinking about you when in fact he might be off on Caribbean cruise thinking of anything but his ex girlfriend.

Option #3: Work through buddies!

Recruiting mutual buddies to help in reuniting both you and your guy is not only helpful, it's also a perfectly respectable, in contrast to the French maid outfit thing. The reason this works is because his good friends will be able to frame your own outpouring of longing in the way your guy can connect with and, more importantly, that doesn't freak him out.

The secret here is to choose one and only one of his buddies to help you out. Don't begin calling everyone whose number you have in hopes of overwhelming him by using attacks from all sides.

You'll both dilute the effect and make yourself look desperate. Just pick one friend and ask if they'd been ready to convey a message for your ex. In the event they are, be as open and truthful as you can be about what happened and how you're feeling.

I can tell you, staying home asking yourself "How do I get my boyfriend back?" won't do you much good. Eventually, you have the best chance of winning him back by signing up a friend of his for help. However, you can improve on the choices above by seeking the recommendation of a professional relationship therapist.

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